Tomorrow a story I wrote ages ago will be coming out in Storm Moon Press’ Dark Menagerie Anthology. Whilst I’m excited–obviously–I’m, also a bit terrified. Also, for the first time, I sent one of my own self published stories, Song of the Sea, to review sites. I almost feel like I’m standing naked in front of everyone. In the past I’ve just relied on a build up of readers by putting works out at a steady pace, as you do when you’re an erotica writer. But now that I’m trying to make the switch to m/m romance I’m almost struck dumb by terror. What happens when I get bad reviews? Terrible reviews? Horrible-you-never-should-have-written-EVER reviews?
This is like going back to that first day of school, again, wondering if anyone wants to be your friend.
I think this is the very worst feeling about being a writer, this putting yourself out there. Particularly when you’re–like most writers seem to be–an introvert and painfully shy. My wish today is a year from now I can look back at this day and laugh at how silly I was being.
But right now I’m not there.